The Partner Your Partner Could Act Like
by Infamousplot
Summary: Look at your partner. Now back at me. Now back at your partner. Sadly, dear Shiki, he is not me. BUT, he could act like me, if you just make a few adjustments here and there... Old Spice Commercial Parody, with TWEWY. Because I can.


**I should not be allowed to write things past midnight ._. Actually, I got this idea earlier today, but then I actuallu carried through with it... It's awful :/ Seriously, it too me like, fifteen minutes to write. Probably not even. But I had to do this... FOR JOSH. Because he's an awesome little troll :3 If I could just think of better substitutes for DIAMONDS and "I'm on a Horse". **

**Please excuse the stupidity of this thing xD  
**

* * *

Shiki and Neku were herping their derp about Shibuya. Neku was angsting it up like the anti-social loner he was, and Shiki was trying to educate him in the Magic of Friendship. _  
_

"Neku, are you even listening to me?" Shiki asked. Neku looked at her with icy eyes. It looked like he was turning his music up.

"Shut up, stalker. Just because we're partners doesn't mean I have to talk to you." He growled. Shiki huffed, stomping her foot against the ground for lack of a better response. Neku was just such a _jerk-_

_"Hello ladies~" _A girly voice cooed out of nowhere. Shiki looked around. All of a sudden, there was a boy standing in front of her. A rather effeminate boy, with wispy blond hair and a smug little smirk on his face.

"Look at your partner." He commanded, gesturing to Neku. Shiki looked at Neku. Neku ignored her.

"Now back to me."

Shiki looked at the fluffy-haired boy.

"Now back at your partner."

She looked back a Neku, who turned his music up louder, still shunning her. The fluffy-haired boy shook his head sympathetically, an amused look on his face. "Sadly, he isn't me." The boy clucked his tongue disapprovingly. "BUT, if he stopped listening to his stupid hipster headphones all the time and made more snide, ambiguously gay comments, he could _act_ like me."

Neku paused, apparently hearing this, and took off his headphones.

"What do you mean 'stupid hipster headphones'?" He growled. The blond boy ignored him. Everything started to warp around them.

"Look down." Shiki did. "Back up. Where are you?" Shiki looked around in confusion. It was dark now, and it smelled like shit- literally. "You're in the sewers, with the partner your partner could act like."

"Why the hell are we in the sewers?" Neku shouted. He was ignored again.

"What's in your hand?" Shiki looked in her hands, expecting to find Mr. mew, but the cat-plush was nowhere to be found. "Back at me. I have it." Shiki looked up, and there he was. Mr. Mew's head flopped over to the side, staring blankly ahead like most dolls did.

"It's the epitomy of your psyche in the form of that toy that you _love._" The boy purred. Neku scowled. Shiki blinked, because apparently, she wasn't allowed to speak during this. "Look again, your psyche is now DIAMONDS."

"Seriously? Diamonds?" Neku scoffed. "That's ripped directly from the Old Spice commercia-" Neku was beaned in the head by a mysterious flying mailbox, unable to finish whatever it was he'd been saying.

"Anything is possible when your partner acts like the Composer," the boy flipped his beautiful platinum locks for effect- "and not a semi-androgynous emo kid."

Mr. Mew warped back to Shiki. Neku groaned from under the mailbox. The room warped again, and they were standing on some weird glass floor with water underneath.

"Who're you calling semi-androgynous, you sheep-haired sheman-" another mailbox fell on top of Neku. Shiki blinked. The sheep-headed sheman put away his cellphone and smirked.

"I'm on a Noise Aquarium." And that he was.

_Act like a troll, douchebag.  
~The Composer._

* * *

**I think it's really sad that this is the first TWEWY thing I post ._. BUT HEY. At least I finally got something TWEWY posted xD  
**

**BTW, I love Neku. But I love Josh more. And Josh would totally drop a mailbox on Neku xD  
AND NEKU IS VERY SEMI-ANDROGYNOUS. Especially in 3D. Girl, lookit dem eyes. He's got such a smooth, pretty, bishie face x3  
**


End file.
